COLLATERAL DAMAGE

He’s home

something’s wrong

He seeks to understand

I listen in the comfort of my ignorance

his candour an unsettling display of courage

There’s a tremble in his voice

there was much to reveal and nothing to say

He often  paused mid sentence

as if waiting for the light to turn green

on a deserted street

He didn’t dwell on the loss of his limb

or the gaping holes in his face

he didn’t speak of glory on the battlefield

or honour

He spoke of nightmares and ashen faces

haunting his constant stare

of confusion at what he was trained to do

and at who he was forced to take aim

He spoke of pride to serve

who he was

and what he had become

Of why he thought he was there

and the reasoning that kept him alive

He spoke of duty momentarily displaced

by a fleeting glimpse

of human

in the face of the one about to expire

His assurance of right and wrong

shattered with every painful breath

He surrendered to the military clinic

and they listened

in the comfort of their ignorance

and they judged

by the pull of their conviction

A character disorder they said

the explanation for his suffering

his rage

his distain

Did  he dare to question the objective of his kill

marked a conscientious objector

they cant help him

get well soon

his file closed for good

He moves on

searching for the man that was

amongst the living and the dead

He’s home

drowning in the current of his resolve

He wasn’t prepared

the enemy had changed its face

again

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